


feel like i'm your cat (i'm your dog)

by orphan_account



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: M/M, Truth or Dare, haogyu but it's platonic, jeonghan and jun banter, jun is an idiot, minor jihan - Freeform, or something else
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-25
Updated: 2020-09-13
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:42:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24917776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: in sync with his thoughts, the bottle stopped at minghao and the moment he was asked who he was most interested in among the people present in seungkwan's walk-in closet, of course minghao's answer had been, "mingyu. come on, what kind of question is that?"junhui considered it a declaration of war.ora misplace of jealousy characterized by thinking too negatively of one oversized puppy.
Relationships: Wen Jun Hui | Jun/Xu Ming Hao | The8
Comments: 8
Kudos: 58





	1. Chapter 1

junhui is not the type to have crushes based on first impressions.

that's a lie he had been telling himself for the past ten or so years. jun only kept it up for self-preservation, seeing that a trait like that can come off as extremely shallow. but jun surprisingly isn't bothered by that anymore- not when he's absolutely sure everyone else would react the same way he did when he first came across the boy from his philosophy class.

the first thing he sees is a dangly earring. well, not exactly. he wasn't even sure what it was when it whisked by his peripherals, followed by the sound of the chair next to him being slightly lifted from the floor (that must be his seatmate for the first term). so he checked, turning his head to the left.

junhui had been wearing a straight face- the kind that bordered between boredom and impatience. "ah, sorry. i didn't even ask if this seat was taken." and like a kleenex wiped across a dirty mirror, jun's face immediately changed for the better.

his eyes land on something pretty, prettier than him, prettier than the words he could ever use to describe him: a boy with sharp brown eyes, partly shrouded by long black hair that goes past his neck and stops right before his shoulders, a round nose and a face shape that he can only describe (within literally half a second) as dainty. whatever, there's too much to say. bottom line is, pretty.

"i'm not taken."

 _oh_. he really did not mean to flirt (if it even ever sounded smooth enough to come across as so). maybe in the next few minutes. just not-- immediately.

"ok..?" the boy stares at him. he's not impressed. junhui then had an inkling that this boy might've have had too many run-ins with people like him, trying to hit on him the first chance they'd get (again, it's not like he meant it!)

junhui could feel embarrassment prickling under his skin. there was a need to correct the misunderstanding but that's so much easier said than done. especially when it's as if he was paralyzed in his seat. he hoped that the wry smile on his face would be enough to dissipate the air of awkwardness around them.

the boy maintained stoic for a second longer, watching as jun's face fell from grace before his entire being softened and he giggled with his whole body. "ok. that's nice to know."

whatever he meant by that, jun was going to overthink about it later. but now, the boy finally sat beside jun, hand out to greet him. "xu minghao, by the way. nice to meet you."

junhui was obsessed.

-

  
"you're a freak." he shouldn't have told, but junhui likes to run his mouth about anything that remotely interests him. though it's not like junhui cares about what he thinks. seriously, why should he? they're not even friends.

because jun's only friend is joshua- his soft spoken neighbor that has stuck with him since the beginning of time (in other words, ever since he moved to america). this was just jeonghan, shua's boyfriend. and junhui refuses to label him as anything past the term acquaintances.

but jeonghan was still joshua's person as much as he was joshua's best friend. these days it seems jeonghan is even more welcome to be at their hangout place now that it's been blurred along the lines of place where they hang out and place where the two older boys mess around, much to junhui's discomfort.

"there's nothing i've done to haohao that could make you say that," he's sure of this.

"you just did."

he pauses. "what?"

"who the hell are you calling haohao?" jeonghan asks, eyes narrowed at him. "does he even know that you call him that?"

jun stills, looking dumb. he looks over at his friend, who's sat on the floor, back against the wall with jeonghan lying on his lap and he mimics a face of distress. joshua just smiles like he always does, like he's leaving junhui to deal with it himself.

"hannie has a point," jeonghan shifted from joshua's lap to face him, making sure he sees the triumphant smile on his face, "though i wouldn't call it freakish," before his boyfriend hits him on the back of the head. "jun's not stalking him, so that's a good start."

"why is your opinion of me that way it is?"

"i'm just saying," joshua begins to rephrase, "you do have a short obsessive period whenever you get a crush." and he does, but doesn't everyone else? "i was there when you did the fastest background check you could do on a person right after that philosophy class." junhui's just a tad bit more enthusiastic in romantic endeavors.

"geminis," jeonghan grumbles under his breath.

"well i'm not saying it's a bad plan. a little research can come a long way." joshua wraps it up with, "just don't get carried away."

-

he does everything in his power to obtain a sliver of minghao's attention and it looks like he has his work cut out for him because minghao, put simply, actually cares about class and consequently, doesn't care about junhui. and on the completely opposite side of the spectrum, he already knows the name of minghao's first pet.

sometimes it's enough that he shows up. and of course he shows up everyday but junhui can't get used to the k-drama ost that rings in his ears whenever minghao walks in. and he knows that jun's staring at him because he raises his brow for a moment but smiles as he sits down. 

"you're ridiculous," he said that once, with a breathy laugh and a punch to jun's shoulder. that shut him up for an entire day. 

most times minghao doesn't respond well to conversation starters. jun doesn't know if he does it on purpose or not, just knows that he's really good at it. 

"do you want some gum?"

minghao glances at him briefly, "no."

or 

"hey do you have a pen? i think i lost mine."

"yes," followed by minghao pushing the extra pen that was already on the table towards junhui. 

  
he decided he's not going to try and come between minghao and his keenness to philosophy class so he figures he'd have to talk to him outside of the only space they coexist in. after sifting through some information from his facebook profile, junhui learns that minghao is actually a student assistant in the campus library.

"oh for fucks sake," it's yoon jeonghan again. he never looks too pleased to see him these days. even more so now that he's in the place least likely to be visited by a wen junhui. 

  
"why did you never mention it to me?"

"because i knew this would happen." he doesn't look at jun. "don't even try to bother him. minghao's gotta work if he wants the extra credit." jeonghan takes a bite of a chip from the bag in front of him and the action causes a crunch to resound throughout a little part of the library.

"you know you're not allowed to eat in here?"

"i'm the senior student assistant, i do what i want and i don't need the credit." jun can't put into words how much of a _character_ jeonghan can be.

thankfully, he doesn't have to. "ah, hao!" junhui averts his attention from jeonghan and looks towards a narrow hallway of shelves that had minghao lining up books at the end of it. he will definitely not think about how minghao waved and beckoned him to come over. that's also definitely not the reason why he was skipping as he walked. "didn't know you worked here." _god_. he's actually insane.

"really now?" he replied dryly as if he saw right through his lie. or he didn't. that's really just how minghao talks. so junhui doesn't know what to make of his response. "i didn't know you knew my nickname too." minghao pays no mind to the books on his cart. he's looking at junhui and he's grinning.

jun swallows thickly. "i call everyone hao."

there's a brief moment of silence before minghao breaks composure, eyes going wide for a split second. something in his head goes off along the lines of _this guy can't be serious._ then suddenly, he's in a fit of giggles from the strain of having to keep an actual laugh down.

junhui short circuits like a mechanical contraption that's been doused in water. he doesn't feel embarrassed. he's supposed to be. and he's also supposed to be breathing but minghao's laugh can apparently deter the workings of his body. junhui likes what he hears way too much.

minghao sobers up, huffing up the last of his chuckles. "man, you start to think you're special to someone..." he doesn't finish that, just lets it linger in the air of the conversation.

"sorry," jun winces. "can we pretend that we're able to rewind time back to five minutes past?"

minghao shakes his head slightly. there's still a smile on his face. "no, live with it."

 _ok_. jun's fine with this. he could trip over his own feet and fall face first on the ground and it would be fine, as long as it was in the expense of making minghao smile.

_oh my god, shut up._

"i will," jun nods to him, "what i don't know how to live with is how awfully quiet you are in class."

minghao goes back to work, but he listens in and he's still slightly facing jun anyway. "ah, that." he puts another book back. "first off, it's not that i'm choosing to ignore you." jun raises both his brows in surprise, it's a welcome shock to know that minghao isn't actively avoiding him. "i just really need to pass that class. i was thinking of keeping in touch with you right after the semester ends anyway."

 _um what_. "wait, seriously?"

the incredulity in his voice startles the younger boy. "yes?" he tilts his head. "that's how you get friends, wen junhui."

_ah_ _, that's more like it._

junhui rolls his eyes for a gag, "i know. i have a friend, xu minghao."

"a," minghao echoes. "not that it matters." that one sounded a little more serious. he broke the joke up just to clarify that it's not what junhui might think. it's not in vain though as jun finds himself oddly relieved by it.

"and oh, speaking of friends," minghao drops a book back on the cart and digs into his pocket to fish out a piece of paper that's been folded into quarters, the creases already fragile enough to rip. "here."

the paper he handed turned out to be a poster for a house party. "i don't know if you do.. parties..but my friend's hosting one," minghao pauses to check up on his reaction. jun shrugs, he's not against it at least. "and it'd be really cool if you showed up."

minghao purses his lips and looks up at him in anticipation. _man_ _.._

you bet junhui's going to that fucking party.

-

junhui's starting to think that joshua's all he ever needs for social stability. he takes the pressure out of any gathering that they go together. he's also well known within their town, even if he's done nothing worth the recognition. it's enough that he's handsome- their town seems to have a deficiency on that.

  
basically, joshua hong is one of the cool kids-- except he's barely acquainted with any of the other equivalently cool kids. the privileges are the same nonetheless and by extension (and it's a far stretch), junhui also benefits from it.

"no way you got joshua hong to come to a party. _your_ party. i could have you killed for that." the chatter's already begun five minutes after they squeeze inside the lobby and it's initiated by lee seokmin, the light music club's only asset. 

joshua pretends he doesn't hear it, keeping his eyes trained to the wall on their right. "you are so lucky you have me, huihui." aw, such a constipated tone of voice for a very touching statement. junhui appreciates it for whatever it is.

  
"ugh no," they hear the host groan behind the red cup of alcohol he's sipping from. "i can't even give myself credit for it. hao invited the other kid." he lowers it and turns to seokmin with furrowed eyebrows. "the one that's always with joshua, dunno his name."

"who? is he here?" it's incredible how oblivious they seem to be of the fact that they're loud enough to be heard by the topic of their conversation. it's most likely because of the music, maybe the cheers of the other kids from all over the place; he can assure them though, that none of those are making their voices any softer. junhui feels himself sink lower down-- whatever it is that's making him feel really shitty right now.

seungkwan nodded, "right there, next to him. minghao's told me about him before. not that i listen anyway." there's a second wherein he can feel both their eyes looking through him, if that was even possible.

"oh he's cute too," lee seokmin leaves it at that.

well.. no, maybe one more comment. "he'd be selling like hotcakes if he wasn't such a wallflower." junhui wanted to hit his head against the wall. expectedly, joshua finds it funny; it's an i-told-you-so moment for him.

in his head, he wants this night over with. and he's wondering how long he has to be here without the presence of the only reason he came in the first place. junhui looks on at the front door too many times now, hoping to see the black mullet or an impressively styled ensemble of clothes. joshua's already left to grab a drink ten minutes after he knew junhui wasn't about to go get one for himself.

then he comes back. joshua's pleased to know that seokmin and seungkwan had dispersed somewhere else within the house. he pushes the cup up to jun's nose, like he'd miss it if it wasn't completely in his face. "beer. you're not allowed anything stronger than this."

jun tears his gaze away from the door to look at him. "what, why not?"

"do you want to make a fool out of yourself in front of him?"

he takes the cup from him and downs half of it in one gulp. "okay," he can feel the heat of the alcohol burn his throat and a pool of heat settles at the bottom of his stomach. "you know what, good point." junhui is a lightweight. he forgets that sometimes.

"speaking of," joshua glances between him and the door but ultimately pauses to chuckle when jun pulls a botched up face from the bitterness of the beer. "keep that face on, he's coming this way."

he can't hear word for word. so he does end up keeping the face on and it's mixed with a little bit of confusion now too, making it look like it was necessary that joshua repeats what he had just said. unfortunately he wouldn't be able to take a hint because he was looking past jun, waving at something-- or someone.

  
he follows joshua's line of vision and ends up meeting eyes with xu minghao. his face changes to one of surprise but he knows minghao's already had a glimpse of the one before it. "you alright?" 

jun nods frantically, "yeah, yeah. um- it's just the beer. i guess." his best friend next to him shakes his head and if minghao wasn't appropriately close enough to see it, he'd have pinched his arm for it.

  
"ok well i'm gonna go wander off by myself," joshua announces as he pats his shoulder, hoping it gives jun some sort of encouragement to not fuck up the time he's going to spend alone with minghao.

"bye."

minghao follows joshua with his eyes until he knows he's at a moderate distance away from them. then he looks at junhui, which is never really good for him as he swallows down a dry throat.

"you look nice." jun's not lying-- just downplaying his thoughts. he notices a lot about minghao tonight, like how his makeup is different: a detailed fox eye and gloss around his lips. or the mesh top that warrants too much attention. it's not _nice_ per se, just that it literally drives him crazy.

minghao doesn't buy the complacence. "eh, i try." he skims jun in a beat. "looks like you really don't have to."

jun does what he does best: malfunction. "oh shut up."

the younger boy laughs lightly at that and ignores how warm jun is even after he links their arms together ("come here, need to take you where the fun is at.") and walk off. jun doesn't resist. he doesn't really do fucking anything- doesn't even dare to think about what's happening. they walk through what seems like a labyrinth of tipsy teenagers and house ornaments that junhui is careful enough to steer away from (because who knows how much _that_ is). minghao saunters fast, knows exactly where he's going and jun only hopes that he doesn't get swept away from his certainty.

they walk up a flight of stairs. after the second landing, there's a hallway of doors. minghao slows down but he doesn't show any intent to let go of junhui's arm. they come to a halt on the third one and the black-haired boy knocks against it. "seungkwan, open up."

jun hears shuffling, a change of position, before the door opens with a clink. "took you long enough."

seungkwan opens it up wider to let them in and jun starts to realize that his palms are a little sweaty. inside the room, all sprawled on the carpeted floor, was eight or so of the most good looking people in their school. they were also in the closet, he realized, which was quite ironic.

"everyone this is wen junhui," minghao prompts and pulls him down so he's squatting in with the circle they've formed.

"hi," he made sure he could say that in one breath, to avoid cracking his voice.

the worst thing is that they start to introduce themselves to him. as if their reputations haven't made their names practically levitating above their heads like scott pilgrim characters; save for the tallest one among them, which junhui assumes to be in the same situation he's in. he then makes it known to jun that his name is mingyu, with the nice hair and the prominent canines.

"we're playing truth or dare," soonyoung waves the bottle in his hands.

"god," jihoon next to him grumbles as he picks at the carpet. "can't think up anything less cliche?"

"we can't do anything dangerous or anything that's going to break a vase," he glances at seungkwan who nods in acknowledgement.

"that's not to say that's all that it takes for a fun game."

"shut it lee chan," soonyoung hisses. "we can't do anything suggestive either because _you_ are a kid. and none of us are drunk enough to do that."

minghao makes a face, "imagine being sober for any of that."

"my point exactly."

"so?"

soonyoung spins the bottle. "hansol."

he flinches at the mention of his name and blurts out, "dare."

"just let him do shots or something." hansol looks over to seungkwan, insulted by the measly dare he suggested. "oh come on i can do better than that."

dokyeom laughs to himself. "wait, i just thought of a good one." all eyes are on him now. "brush seungkwan's teeth for like five minutes."

hansol only has seconds to keep on the mortified face before seungkwan pipes up. "no way! i have sensitive gums!"

"no one cares man," wonwoo deadpans.

there's a chorus of 'do it. do it.' and seokmin telling him to run to his bathroom and get his toothbrush. and that's really all it takes for a teenager to do anything-- good ol' peer pressure. seungkwan comes back holding the aforementioned toothbrush and toothpaste that he added for good measure.

"just so we're clear, you actually have to brush it the way you'd do it." soonyoung clarifies after hansol says there wouldn't be any need for toothpaste.

"when my dentist get their hands on you," seungkwan says, passing the toothbrush on to him. it's quiet for a while as hansol contemplates on what he's about to do. "um... well... open up." snickering breaks out from their circle.

jun is laughing too but it's tuned out once he notices mingyu stand up slightly from where he was squatting and rush over to their side, staying on minghao's right. _okay then._

"no seriously kwannie, just open up wider. i swear i won't brush over your gums."

so seungkwan does, in utmost reluctancy. hansol surprisingly does a good job of it though and puts in an effort that doesn't really suit the concept of truth or dare. everyone starts to peer over them, engrossed.

"what the hell," minghao mumbles under his breath. "why did i think this would be funny. it just looks weird now."

"mmm wait," seungkwan speaks through the froth in his mouth, "you missed a spot."

"okay!" seokmin claps loudly. "nice to know you two had a pleasant time. unfortunately not everyone can say the same so uh.. break it up!"

seungkwan and hansol move away with the younger one of them chuckling to himself. "i love ruining things for any of you."

soonyoung pretends not to hear that and spins the bottle again. "channie."

"dare, duh."

seungkwan snaps his fingers, eager to have everyone listen to him. "call your mom. tell her you knocked a girl up." minghao and jun exchange a look (and yes, he did delude himself for it right after). "that's a bit-"

"no my mom can take a joke," chan confirms, taking his phone out to dial her. he didn't put it on speaker, like an idiot. so they were left to piece the conversation together with the few words and wincing that chan did. "i just had to tell you first - yeah, her parents know too - no we're keeping it - i'm sorry - what?" dino laughs. "no i'm serious - mom, listen - aww come on!"

chan starts to ramble on to his mother who seemed to have caught on by now. they exchange goodbyes before he turned his phone off. "she's no fun."

"what did she say?"

"first she wanted me to go straight back to iksan. she was about to call dad," he shivers slightly. "i think it was for the best that she said i sounded a little funny so she didn't buy it."

"you were perfectly believable." minghao raises a brow before he concluded his own thought with, "moms are so weird."

mingyu made a noise of protest, "you're mom's too nice for you to say that." _huh_ _?_ okay so he's apparently close to minghao, jun made note of that. close enough that he seemed to know minghao's mom.

jun resisted the cogs in his brain from turning because _your mom literally likes joshua more than you._ it doesn't stop him from keeping an eye out on mingyu, though-- for his curiosity's sake, nothing else.

but everyone else does so too when the bottle stops at the younger boy. "mingyu."

"truth!"

jihoon shrugs, "well it was time for a switch up."

"i got one," hansol volunteers. "say you'd have to kill one person in this room _but_ you had to choose based on physical appearance."

"you want him to point out the ugliest from us?" seungkwan asks in disbelief. "what the hell is wrong with you."

"no?" he flails his arms around in distress. "it could be something else like, i don't know, who's most fit to have a mugshot."

"that's charming, hansol. really."

"just answer it!" he begs, already regretting having opened his mouth in the first place. "put me out of my misery."

mingyu giggled. "don't worry, i can answer." he hums pretty loudly, wanting everyone to know that he really was thinking beforehand. "maybe junhui-ssi."

 _um?_ jun doesn't know how he looks right now, probably offended or aghast. all he knows is that he liked mingyu lesser each time a second passed.

"not- i don't mean you're unattractive! you're just the person i'm least acquainted to. hypothetically, if i had to kill someone, it'd be easier if i barely knew how they looked like... you know," he finishes, his voice fading into the silence.

 _yeah... sure_ if it had been anyone else in the room who said the exact same thing, junhui would've been fine with it. however, it was an entirely different case with mingyu.

maybe it's how he chose to bury his flushed face in minghao's side. that might not be the only reason but it sure as hell contributed.

"i guess." junhui made it short and vague.

mingyu looks up at him too and they lock eyes in a second. he can't really explain it without his brain making up the weirdest analogies but it's a moment akin to when a cat gets introduced to a puppy as a new member of the family and he can't wait to get his claws on the puppy's face.

"great now they hate each other," seungkwan spoke through the tension.

"i don't hate junhui-hyung!"

jun was a beat too late when he realizes there's a surge of attention on him. "yeah.. i don't hate mingyu."

minghao chuckles from between them and jun turns to him so fast he must've should've gotten whiplash for it. "okay so... that turned out well."

"sorry guys," hansol raised his hand and minghao laughed even more.

junhui had a feeling that the night was leading up to a moment. his introduction to mingyu was a key scenario. something about the kid demanded his attention. the reason is glaringly obvious but jun doesn't want to acknowledge it.

in sync with his thoughts, the bottle stopped at minghao and the moment he was asked who he was most interested in among the people present in seungkwan's walk-in closet, of course minghao's answer had been, "mingyu. come on, what kind of question is that?"

junhui considered it a declaration of war.


	2. Chapter 2

the semester ends a week after that. jun expects to still be able to see minghao around campus or at other parties like the one before. well, he gets more than what he bargained for. minghao's friends seemed to like jun a lot, enough to have him hang around them a number of times, some without even needing minghao with him. it's really just soonyoung who insists but no one rejects it anyway so jun gets questions like, "since when were you a social butterfly?"

"since when were you such a poopy head?"

jeonghan eyes him, "is that your best?"

"no," jun points to joshua looking around the books near them but nonetheless listening in. "i have to speak with caution." the oldest of them laughs softly and jun has to deflect the sight of him fondly glancing at joshua from his eyes.

"but seriously," jeonghan speaks again.

"i honestly don't know. i guess the party at seungkwan's went a little too good. and i did _not_ force them to hang out with me before that foul mouth of yours assumes the worst of me again." jun chucked a piece of paper in his direction the moment he looked as if he was about to butt in.

"you always think that i hate you or something," jeonghan glares at him when he flicks the paper away from his face.

"don't you?"

he points to joshua, "i have to speak with caution."

jun's phone goes off and panic rises between them as heads poke up from books to glower at their table. "sorry," he puts the phone next to his ear. "hey, junhui speaking."

"it's minghao." oh yeah, there's a part he failed to mention: it's that he and minghao have been spending a lot of time together, a platonically appropriate amount, but time spent together still. it's mostly coincidental-- ending up in the same cafe to study, running into each other in between classes or when junhui has to borrow another book from the library. it doesn't progress past small talk, though it's both of them that linger in each other's presence, wanting to say more but never really getting to.

it's almost always interrupted by you-know-who though, with him picking minghao up or minghao being in a given place to wait for him.

"what's up?"

he can hear minghao hum impatiently from across the line, "i need your help."

jun stands up abruptly. "are you okay?" his voice has an urgency to it, though he assumes it to be completely appropriate.

"what?" minghao giggles and as always, it breaks him out of whatever stupor he's in. "i'm fine dummy, i just need to borrow a book."

"huh?"

minghao then explains to jun that the botany class he's in requires them a book that the library currently only has two copies of. no one else in his class bothers with finding the said two though, opting out to buy it with the assurance that it's not been tattered and passed down from time to time.

minghao likes an adventure, even if it is as miniscule as tracing back to library records to see who borrowed it last.

"thought it'd be an opportunity to meet someone new," he mentions, shrugging.

jun raises an eyebrow at this, "are you disappointed that it's someone you're already acquainted to?"

"for that part, yeah." of course, minghao doesn't hold back and jun finds his frankness a little funny. "but since it turns out the 'someone' is you... then not so much."

that was uncalled for and so was the rush of heat that seemed to overwhelm jun's face. "quit it." jun laughs. he doesn't let the annoyance bleed through his voice even though he doesn't like being one-upped by him when it comes to flirting, especially because of the painstaking truth that minghao doesn't even actually mean it. "when do you need the book? i still need to look for it, i'm not even sure i have it with me."

"like two weeks from now, don't worry. i can help you look for it, if you want."

no, he doesn't want that. he knows minghao doesn't live in the dormitory. what does he expect from a college boy's dorm room? "you wouldn't want to."

"i'll take your word for it."

"good," jun says, "so is thursday alright? assuming i find it before then."

"yeah, i'm free all afternoon. if anything changes, i'll make sure to let you know though, ok?"

jun hums as confirmation before setting his phone down. he'd have to force it out of himself to clean his dorm space later on, there'd be no way he was going to find a relic like that otherwise.

"so...thursday huh?"

nosy and isn't doing his job, jun ought to deal with jeonghan someway. "ugh i wish. all he needs is some botany book i apparently own."

jeonghan shrugs, "well you take what you can get."

"can you believe it—" jun then relays their phone call, about the coincidence and wondering- "why did no one else think of just finding out who borrowed it last?"

"maybe they figured out that if they all thought the same thing, then there'd be competition over a book wasting away under some dude's cumsock pile," jeonghan says this out loud, "how's that?"

jun nods, "good point. you could've been nicer though." it's not good for his humility, now that jeonghan has implied that minghao could be the sole person vying for jun('s book), that he was probably the only one in thirty from his class. he won't say that out loud, which makes it dangerous because he allows the delusion to fester.

for the rest of the afternoon, jeonghan attends to his library duties, such as sitting on the front desk watching anime from his ipad as he breaks his favourite library rule of eating crunchy food. joshua is with him all the way. no one really comes around the library around this time so technically, nothing jeonghan does is hindering him from his work. jun has papers to be finished, which is what he's there for in the first place. though he supposes he'd done enough for today. he gathers what he owns and tidies the rest of the study material on the table before walking up to the couple. "hey," jeonghan pauses the show to let him speak, "i have to get back now. text me when you're done here, 'kay?" that was directed at jisoo, who nods promptly at him.

"i can buy dinner too since i'm staying a little later."

"you're the best," he says that with so much relief. even the iron stomach that can handle copious amounts of cheap corner store food has a breaking point and he felt it was getting near. he lives on campus so it's obviously not that far of a walk. but jun can't afford interruptions at the moment, not when he needed a bed to lie down on as soon as possible. so he walks fast and surely, not meeting eyes in order to evade possible conversations.

turns out, eye contact isn't all it takes to be in an unwanted encounter with someone. case in point, when mingyu, out of nowhere, decides to walk right into jun. the near collision has him walking five quick steps back.

"what the hell!"

"sorry, sorry oh my god- that's my fault - oh my god - are you okay? i'm sorry, i'm so sorry," mingyu starts blurting out words that come too fast for anyone to comprehend. he looks guilty— looks bad, if jun would have a say. it doesn't suit him.

"stop," he says that one word clear enough and mingyu actually does, like a trained dog. "i know you didn't mean to almost knock me into the grass, mingyu. i get it." it doesn't seem like he does. the look on his face still scares mingyu. but maybe that's what's keeping him quiet. "what do you need?"

"um..." it takes a second for mingyu to search for any signs of jun being relieved of his annoyance. it doesn't come. "i was gonna ask for a favor."

"what?"

"can i... borrow a book?"

jun's a bit too tired right now. so he prods on, "what book?"

"on botany? i don't remember the title but i can look it up and text it you...if you're okay with it." botany... book... he's heard those exact words in the same day, together and separately. then the pieces start piecing itself together.

"no," he says, almost shaken out from his stupor. "i mean, i don't have it."

"that's..." strange, mingyu would've said. library records say otherwise. "okay." he doesn't push, of course, considering how jun is, or how jun has always been around him. he's never really known why but his interest in knowing hasn't piqued...yet. mingyu isn't just going to let himself be disliked for no reason. "i can't really help that."

jun stills for a moment, looking at him up and down. "is that it?"

"yeah," mingyu wipes his hands on his jeans. "that's it. sorry again." and jun makes that the end of it.

-

on wednesday, minghao obliges with their tradition of going with mingyu to a coffee shop every time their classes end at around the same time to help each other with coursework, when mingyu asks, "what is it with me?"

minghao is halfway done with the milkshake in front of him but not so much with his lab report. he types one more sentence in before he turns to him. "what?"

"what is it with me," mingyu repeats, "that jun doesn't seem to like?"

the milkshake in his throat lodges in there for a second before minghao can properly reply. "junhui? from my philosphopy class?"

"no," he rolls his eyes, "junhui, the one you brought in seungkwan's party as a date."

that was minghao's initial intention, though he doubts jun knows it. over the course of the night, he let it be whatever. "it's a one-sided thing. go back to topic, gyu."

"well," he finally closes a notebook, resigning himself for today. "he can't seem to... stand me."

"elaborate."

"i don't know but he seems to never be in a good mood around me." and minghao knows, quite a lot, that mingyu tends to do the opposite. "and it's obvious dude, i can't just ignore it. the guy doesn't like me and i haven't done a single thing to him."

"say he does." minghao inquires, "what's it to you?"

"you obviously like him!"

he doesn't expect to see minghao's glare, "don't say that out loud." and mingyu forgets he gets shy, about junhui, around junhui and because of junhui. but the flush of pink on minghao's face reminds him.

mingyu continues in a quieter voice, "and i need to be at least civil to the people you like."

"don't worry about it," minghao waves a dismissive hand, "he'll come around. or he won't, and then that'll be the end for my crush on him."

"liar."

-

on the same day, joshua comes in their shared dorm room with one of his classmates from who-knows-which-class. there's an invisible divider through the center, emphasized only by the contrast of the state of jun's side of the room and joshua's. completely different owners, anyone could tell.

"you still looking for that book?" joshua asks.

"yeah," he replies distractedly. "you don't think it could be on your side?"

"absolutely not." then he hears the door open and someone else comes in, someone else to witness the shitstorm he has going on. "sorry about this," he hears joshua tell them, "my roommate's going through something."

"like...like a breakup?"

"no, cheol. not even close," joshua smiles at him. "we have a presentation to get over, just ignore him." they do just that and they're quite good at it, not making even the smallest flinch when another one of his boxes topple to the carpet. somehow it irritates him, even if it's all he could ask for.

jun retraces his memories again, going so far back as last year. it's an exercise of futility, he can't even remember what he's had for breakfast. so he sighs, most unlike the last times. this one's loud and held more frustration. it's enough to get joshua's attention.

"dude just own up to it."

"own up to what?" jun wipes the sweat on his forehead using the back of his hand.

"that you lost it or something. that's closer to the truth then saying you'd able to find that book by thursday."

"but it's for him," jun murmurs, so embarrassed about it. the fact that he's on the floor doesn't help.

"there are sooo many other ways to shoot your shot at minghao. there's probably a list." jun starts hearing sirens, horribly movie-like. magnified to him are the words that had just left joshua's mouth and the ears of his classmate who perked up upon hearing a familiar name. "minghao? xu minghao?"

joshua winces and looks at him. he's done it now, he's past the need to say sorry.

"no way," 'cheol' (for lack of any other name to call him other than what joshua supplied earlier) says, "that's like... my little brother." of course, just his amazing luck that someone apparently as close to minghao as family was here in his dorm room.

"nice to know," joshua tries to help, offering something to say to him knowing jun won't. "it's best you don't mention to this to minghao." _oh, if minghao knew,_ jun felt himself fading.

"of course," cheol looks quite offended joshua even thought of it, "it's not my place to tell."

"but a book?" he continues. "you can do better than that. i mean, i don't know you; but universally, anyone can do better."

jun sneers without any real heat in it. "i thought you two were here to work on something. since when did we start playing love guru?"

"since you cried bloody hell for a botany book," joshua chortles. jun probably doesn't appreciate being made fun of but it's irrisistable. his childlike look on a lot of things made jun very...jun. "c'mon i'll deal with this later," he directs that to the only other person. "let's clean this up."

he privately agreed and let them give him a hand. but he certainly hasn't given up, not quite.

-

the sky crackles yet again, lightning ripping through the spaces in the clouds. it's dark. jun can't see a thing. he wasn't even sure if his eyes were open even if he was very much awake. what assured him of his conscious state was his erratic heartbeat, jun could hear it as if he was pressed against his own chest.

he sits up and concentrates on getting the sleep out of his eyes. that's when he began to make out shapes and figures from the darkness of the room. he squints to his right, checking to see if joshua woke up from the bout of thunder; relieved to see that he hasn't. he groped around his bedside table for his phone and smartly turns on the flashlight.

their dorm room was quite spacious and laid out in a way wherein the common middle part took up most of it. they had this round coffee table that had drawers at the bottom which joshua put in, insisting that it helped with the limited storage they could have. and it did, it housed quite a lot of his tea bags and coffee packs.

jun settled to make tea in the dark. now that's obviously a horrendous idea, given how clumsy he is. but he promised himself that he was gonna make it work and not have joshua in a fit, cleaning up a broken mug with him by the end of it.

then another angry rumble came from the sky. jun nearly topples the thermos over. not a second later, his phone lit up. and no, it wasn't from the glaring flashlight he had on. it was a notification— a text, he knows now that he's put the thermos down. from minghao?

he dumps the tea bag in and cared less if he'd take longer than two minutes to take it out because minghao just sent him a text at three in the morning.

 **hao:** sorry to bother... are you up?

and he certainly was up, though he didn't think of this as a bother.

 **jun:** yeah  
**jun:** what's wrong?

 **hao:** nothing i  
**hao:** need a distraction ig..?

jun just wonders how he's the one being told this. minghao has friends, lots of them. he wonders if they crossed his mind, at least before he did.

 **jun:** sure then  
**jun:** are u usually up this late?

 **hao** is typing...

 **hao:** no.. i sleep pretty early

jun had something in mind to type out but it seems minghao wasn't done and the three dots on his phone kept coming and going.

 **hao:** i guess  
**hao:** im jus scared

he has a hunch— a very obvious one. but rather than guessing it all on his own, he waits for minghao to say it himself.

 **hao:** of thunder

 **jun:** hm  
**jun:** then  
**jun:** is it enough?

 **hao:**... is what?

 **jun:** me  
**jun:** i mean texting

jun peers over to check on joshua one more time, right as he snores softly. he wasn't a deep sleeper but he doesn't necessarily stir abruptly awake because of hushed voices. jun thought a call wouldn't hurt.

 **jun:** i could just call you

 **hao:** oh  
**hao:** well i  
**hao:** i don't think i can

 **jun:** that's okay too

 **hao:** not that i don't want to  
**hao:** i do...

jun smiled at the uncalled reassurance.

 **hao:** ur rlly nice junhui

 **jun:** eh?  
**jun:** where's this coming from?

he could almost hear the faint laugh that would have come from minghao at his words.

 **hao:** nothing  
**hao:** i just wanted to tell u so

 **jun:** i'll be doing my best to keep it up then

then jun wanted to say something stupid. but he acted upon almost every thought that just popped into his mind. this one wasn't any different.

 **jun:** you're nice too  
**jun:** i like you

he had the gall to take a sip of tea a second after he sent that text. maybe the lightning had gotten to him, struck his brain and fried it up. it took some time before he realized minghao wasn't typing and he had to check just exactly what he sent.

he was screwed and so, so awake.

jun stands up from his chair so fast, the sound it made as it dragged on the tiled floor was like nails on a chalkboard. he's mouthing obscenities and he's careful not to let even a squeak out as to not wake joshua. the last thing he needed was his roommate to know about this act of utter stupidity.

he needed to type a follow-up, just something, anything! because it can't end here, not when he's sure minghao is deciding which hallmark card was best for declining confessions.

 **jun:** as a friend  
**jun:** but you know that... right?

as if anyone would buy this. as if minghao wouldn't see right through this electronic message. jun really stuck to the basics with this. everyone knows the 'as a friend' shite meant nothing if not to salvage stupid people in love from being exposed too early. he just wished minghao didn't know about that.

 **hao:** ah  
**hao:** okay.. yeah that's okay

and okay, he was definitely found out but at least minghao had the decency to act as if he wasn't. jun groaned; this kid woke up from a thunderstorm asking to be calmed down and now he's probably given him something to mull over.

 **hao:** i figured as much

he sighed, putting the phone down. jun felt like he needed to go back to sleep, forget all this just happened and enter a world where he couldn't embarrass himself in any conceivable way.

then he stubbed his toe on something littered on the floor. he flashed the light on it and jun thought reality really couldn't stop toying with him.

"well at least i found the book."


End file.
